Lots of people ask me about work-life balance. The first thing I say is that if you love what you do, it’s not really a big issue. Meaning, if you’re passionate about your career, you choose to work a lot and life seems balanced because you are not sacrificing one thing for another. I think of it more as work-life integration.
But the reality is that if you care about family – as I do – you have to set some boundaries. I call mine the “non-negotiables.”
My biggest non-negotiable is my two-night rule. When my daughter was three, I promised her that I would not be away for more than two nights. She’s now 16 and I have broken the rule only a handful of times during her childhood (note, in a few weeks I will go to Qatar for two nights).
My two-night rule has had some interesting side benefits. One of them is better cardiovascular fitness. I have always loved a good run or HIIT class on the bike, but I always did it for, yes, the health but also the vanity.
Now I have an even more important reason to stay in shape. Consider this – you are in Heathrow airport and you MUST make your flight, so as not to break your two-night rule. You are at gate 12 and the flight leaves from gate 42. You have 15 minutes to make the gate before the door closes. You need to sprint or wait until tomorrow. What do you do?
If you’re me, you take off your shoes and you sprint. I have found that the two-night rule means you must be ready to go “full on gazelle” in an airport, even after a long day of meetings.
People who have been on trips with me have seen this in action. My colleague Kate, who has worked with me for over ten years, and I were once on a business trip to Boston. I wanted to get home for dinner with my daughter. We had five minutes to make the gate and we were very far away. I said “Kate, I am making the plane.” She looked at me puzzled and said, “That’s not possible.” You know what I said… “watch me.”
I sped to the gate and convinced them to hold the door open for just a few more minutes for Kate to also make the flight. I’m not sure if she took up running after that but she is a proud mom of three, so I am guessing it had an impact.
Additional non negotiables are never missing a “top ten” moment for my daughter (something that is important to her, like performing in a play), never multitasking when I am spending quality time (knowing I can take an hour out to take a bike ride, play a board game, or read something together), and trying to tuck her into bed at least three days a week when home.
Having work–life balance is all about loving what you do so that both work and life aren’t so stressful. But even in that wonderful scenario, you need to decide what your non–negotiables are, and you need to wear them proudly and openly. And if your non–negotiables can lead to other wonderful things in life–like improved health–what could be better?
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